Men!

i was supposed to be having a lie in today, a proper one, undisturbed.

during the past two weeks each of my children and myself have fallen ill to the dreaded lurgi, complete with all the not so friendly bacteria.... i have done a week and a half on about 3 days worth of sleep and it is starting to catch up,

i can carry my asda shopping in the bags under my eyes, and my legs are blue from the bruises on my shins from getting up in the middle of the night and bashing into things en route to see who's sheets have vomit on them and need changing this time...

turns out hubby doesnt have the capability to look after children and check the internet at the same time,
the kids nearly killed each other, we had broken toys, hungry tums and yet the other half got cross because he doesnt have the capability to contol the animals from behind the screen of the laptop.

try putting it down love.

he's gone out now to check on a friend, who will no doubt, have some life changing, problem that only my husband can fix, and he will come home after the last train pulls in, smelling faintly of beer and happy in the knowlegde he has made someone feel better...

it still surprises me how men can drink, smoke, play pool, solve each others problems, look at other women, discuss the football and eat a kebab at the same time, but when we ask them to look after the children they look at us like we have asked them to climb mount everest, barefoot, carrying 4 cases of luis vouitton luggage and singing the national anthem as they go....

i hate sundays

Sunday is the only day i'm not a fan of.

Saturday's aren't high up on my list either i have to admit, but Sunday's top them all.

There is 100% NO CHANCE, HAVEN'T GOT A HOPE IN HELL, of getting fluffy post on a Sunday.

Anyone would think we had better things to do with our lives than wait in for the postman 5 days a week, then on the two days we didnt actually have many motivational plans, there is no chance of him coming...

i'll be keeping myself nice and busy today, i did start tidying, like i said i was going to, but i came across a big bag of old clothes, you know the type of thing, the ones you dont want to throw away, 'oh, they'll come in uselful'

so you put them in a bag and pack them neatly into the corner of some cupboard, then you move them from house to house when you move out, rehoming them each time in a new corner, of a new cupboard, before eventually realising the child you were keeping them for for to grow in to is now twice the age on the labels and reluctantly giving them to the used clothes collection or charity shop, slightly embarrassed at the age of the items....

anyhoo, in amongst this bag of useless treasure, i've found a good few bits and pieces that i can play with for a little while, stealing the buttons, cutting out the applique, making baby legwarmers from the leftover bits (see my girls up top there, i made Maria's but Layla's were an ebay jobbie) i've even got a few good bits that i'm gonna have a bash with at making a nappy cover...

so its a sewing day for me, after i've finished wading over the piles of crap i've been hoarding in my cupboards until i eventually reach a day like today, where i get stressed that i haven't seen or used any of it in nearly three years and go mad and throw it all out, only to need it again some time in the next fortnight......

sometimes i really do wonder.....

part of me wonders sometimes if i'm what you would call 'normal'..

i mean, if you look at it on paper i'm an odd kind of creature,

i used to be a gothicy type fashionista, have a penchant for
nights out and expensive corsets, i did modelling for gothy magazines and alternative clothing labels, i sang in a band, (i also sang in the school choir but don't tell anyone!)
i had money and a life and i loved to spend it on frivolities like make up and my first flat in the poshest bit of town (rented, but MY OWN SPACE)

then something happened,i now live in shoeburyness, the really icky bit of the world near to southend-on-sea, somewhere that 5 years ago i would never have dreamed of passing through, let alone living...
the whole place is full of mainly morons and parents who don’t deserve to keep plants let alone children.
i feel like a complete outcast as i don’t want my children influenced by them or let them witness some of the parents behaviour, let alone the childrens!

i do not seem to fit into any sort of social catagory -
too green for ‘normal’ consumerist people, too ‘consumerist normal’ for greenies!

i cant work out how i am supposed to live the life i want to without becoming some kind of social recluse!

i use ‘proper’ nappies, eco-balls, and try to re-cycle as much as i can, and most of the time i get the piss taken out of me for doing so,

i go into charity shops and see what was a £200 corset for sale for £10 and my buying finger twitches, not so i can try to get what was once a perfect 8 back inside it, no, but instead to auction it off on ebay so i can buy nappies, or tiny dungarees, or the latest whatever it may be that my child has decided is flavour of the month....

then i catch myself in the shop mirror, my greasy hair is like a bird's nest, the jeans i'm wearing haven't been washed since last week, or was it the week before? my husband's baggy t shirt that i'm wearing shows only the hint of another baby bump, i have babysick down my shoulder....

i'm not that gothic girl anymore, i don't long for the things she once had, i am fulfilled now, my life has meaning, i do the things i do for my children, because i love them and want to give them the best start i can in this cruel world.

i smile at my reflection, content with the inner peace i've made with myself, happy that the girl i used to be is now more like a girl i knew once, i am pleased with the transition, i stand up tall, i hold my head high, and i ignore the whining that is coming from the toddler holding onto the pram, i take my strides with pride, I AM A MOTHER, AND I AM MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

my confidence is strong, as i walk down the crowded street, in the mean time i now have a toddler who has wet himself, and i realise i also have toilet roll stuck to the bottom of my shoe.....

oh well you win some you lose some....

fluffy post

i do enjoy getting a bit of fluffy post, as do we all i think, but most people order a nappy, or a wrap, or even some inserts, i seem to have the bizarre capability of getting 6 parcels in one postal van... i have yet to work out whether this is just coincidence, or if the postman has decided once a week is enough and they are secretly stashing my fluff until his day off and letting the part time guy deliver it. either way the postman is called jim and i find him a very amicable if not rather unfortunate looking fellow... but he is good natured, which is probably a bonus because if he wasnt i'd probably develop some sort of nervous twitch as i suffer from fluff withdrawal quite easilly....

And so it begins...

I have decided to set up the life and trials of a nappy addict, as a testement to the dedication, and thorough hard work and iron will it takes to use reusable nappies, while at the same time having enough time to care for other children, and maintain a healthy happy home.....


HA! YERRITE!!!


ACTUALLY, Due to popular demand from a demented group of females who have been stalking me for a while on a popular parenting site, i have set this up, because apparently, i bring a little bit of excitement to their day, make them laugh, make their jaws drop open in complete and utter disbelief, shock them beyond their wildest dreams, or they just follow me because in general, i'm a funny kinda gal!!!

so i dont really know where this will lead, but chances are, if you're following it, you have a slight insight into me and my erratic temprements anyway, so you know as well as i do.... 'Hold on tight....ANYTHING could happen!!!!!'